i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
