4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
