Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
