so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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