yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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