remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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