Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
