the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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