Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
