think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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