Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
