What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
