this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
