he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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