yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
