Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
