He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
