You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
