I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
