dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
