is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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