Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
