its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
