Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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