the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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