when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
