Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
