carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
