I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Screwed.edu
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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