All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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