READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
