He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
