bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He kissed a someone with a penis
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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