I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
