i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize