She announced her abortion via fbk
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
