Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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