Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
