Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize