i don't like sucking hair
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I love you. Go after that dick
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
