i just google imaged poop.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
