try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
