Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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