I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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