it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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