North Korea, Best Korea!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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