Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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