we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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