I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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