All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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