i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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