speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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