soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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