is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
