He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize