Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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