Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize