Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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