do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
