i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
