Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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