Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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